Some native tribes believe that once you have mixed sexual fluid with another your energies are tied together for the next seven years. This invisible energy that is impossible to ignore can pull on your heart threads and keep you connected to your partners of the past.
When we engage in sexual relationships or interactions we often don’t realize we have created energetic bonds. This is especially true if there is a strong emotional or traumatic event between the two. The energy that unites two partners is the emotions that were felt during the coupling. If the experience created a feeling of self-worth and love then the energy will support those interactions. However, if the experience was negative and traumatic then again those energies will be mimicked. We need to cut of this energy before it continues to reaper again in our lives. This energetic connection is the reason why breakups are so hard. We are letting go of attachment to another who we shared an emotional bond with. It can be difficult for us to simply let go, heartbreak lingers even to the thought of the traumatic event. You know the feeling when you think of an ex-lover, the aching heart, sweating palms, and nausea? That is the lingering attachment that will continue to strive unless you have consciously cut ties.
“Once a couple experiences romantic touching, kissing, and ultimately lovemaking, there is a second chemical storm that takes place deep inside both of their brains. A blast of oxytocin explodes and showers the brain with natural opiates we know as endorphins.” – This is Your Brain On Love by Dr. Earl Henslin
When we are with this partner we exchange energy, frequency, and also DNA. We begin to absorb the feelings our partner id holding on to. If they are having a bad day, negative or positive thoughts, admirations or feelings of love will begin to transfer and stick within you.
We are attached like a drug and need to detox from these unholy encounters. Take steps to let go of our unconscious decisions and free ourselves from bondage to our soul ties. This reflection is not about feeling like you have made poor decisions or to stir up feelings of regret. This is about taking control of your body and soul freeing yourself from all attachments that no longer serve you. It is a spiritual and healing cleanse a form of self-love given to our divine selves.
The following are techniques I have learned to help rid of these invisible ties to our soul. Prepare to dig deep inside you, touching emotions, feelings, and traumas of the past. Allowing you to face your truth and embody the perfect being that is you.
Cleansing, Healing, Love Ritual to Cut Ties to our Sexual Partners of the Past
What you will need:
Sage Crystals (not necessary but will enhance the experience) – crystals associated with the sacral chakara Candles- Represent your infinite love for self Paper / Journal Yarn
Start by cleansing, light the sage and smudge you and your space.
Next you will need a journal or paper that you can write on. Create a comfortable place with candles and essential oil or incense. You can use your alter to enhance the connection to yourself. If you don’t have an alter that’s okay you can still complete this exercise.
Begin with setting the mood, connecting deep into yourself. Taking a moment to acknowledge yourself in this present time. Feel the connection to your body and to your soul. Fill your heart with gratitude for every piece of you, every moment, experience, and creation that is you. Put your mind in a vibration for release and renewal, you are the master. Invite your spirit guides to guide you during this process. To provide you with a sense of wisdom and understanding.
You will then shift you mind to your journal. Take the time to write down the name of each sexual partner that you have been with.
Focus on answering the following questions:
For Consensual Relationships:
What did I walk away from this relationship? What did the person walk away from this relationship? What did you learn from this connection?
For non-consensual relationships: What did you learn from this connection?
You can complete this ceremony over a period of days rather than completing it all at once. There are emotions filled with depth that will surface from anger, to sadness, joy, and clarity. Take your time and honour yourself throughout the process. This is all about you.
Next, take the three strands of yarn and allow yourself to focus on the raw energy that is beginning to perspire. With the name of your ex in mind begin braiding each cord together. Allow yourself to fill with emotions and say this to yourself:
My intention is to release ties with_______. I will allow all attachment to be release and I will filled any spaces with honest love, wisdom, and strength.
Be patient with yourself, let yourself heal. Allow the emotions to rise to surface without holding back. If you need to shed tears or scream aloud then do so. Push confusion and pain into the cord. You no longer have to allow this energy to consume your mind. You are freeing yourself from attachments that have long passed there expiry date. Continue braiding as you release and if you have completed braining and are still releasing then continue holding the energy in your hands. Be patient with your emotions, do not block any feelings simply release and move through them.
Once you feel a sense of space or clarity take the paper you have answered the questions on as well as the cord you tired and burn it. You can use a deep bucket filled with a little bit of water at the bottom, light the paper and throw it in. As the paper burns imagine the ties disconnecting. Allow any emotions you have felt to disappear into the energy of the universe. Transform that energy into forgiveness and love. This physical burning of the paper and yarn allows you to experience your emotions rising through you before your eyes.
Place your hand on your womb. Connect yourself to your sacral chakra, the chakra that holds your creative and sexual energies. Feel warmth and imagine the colour of orange. As you complete this exercise say aloud.
I let you go The attachment is now broken You no longer consumer me I release all connections and ties to you I am free from any ties within me Attachments that no longer serve me I forgive you for the pain you have caused I forgive you for the conscious and unconscious decision you have made I forgive myself for the pain I have caused you I forgive myself for the conscious or unconscious decisions I have made I feel gratitude for my experience, for what I have learned, and for what I have manifested in my life I am worthy and deserving of love I am the master of my body that is my forest I love myself I love myself Once you have completed the ritual I recommend writing in your journal about how it made you feel. Allow yourself to let go of it all, once and for all. Unchain from your past decisions and experiences you could not control. Honour yourself and your body. Vow to engage in sex with partners who believe sex is beautiful and sacred. Vow to forgive yourself for everything you have gone through. You are perfect you are whole and you are loved.
You are a beautiful sacred being and deserve to treat yourself and your body that way. Have you engaged in a ritual to cut soul ties? How did it go?